Review: My Heart and Other Black Holes by Jasmine Warga

Goodreads rating: 3.99/5

My rating: 3.7/5

Aysel (pronounced as 'Uh-zel') and Roman first communicate on the 'Suicide Partners' section of a website where Roman posted about his need for a suicide partner. After Aysel responds to his ad, they meet and begin discussing how and when they were going to take the plunge together. The more time they spend together talking about why they want to die, Aysel begins to doubt whether or not to go through with their plan and ends up being stuck between wanting to die or convincing Roman to live.

Warga was inspired to write this book after losing one of her closest friends, I'm not sure if it was to suicide or not. Either way, I can't imagine the pain she must have experienced. I expected this story to be heavy and painful to read considering it's depressing theme but it was surprisingly light. There are so many reasons a person can fall into depression and feel like they can never get out of it, hence opting to just die in the pit they have dug themselves into. But like Warga says, "One spark can change everything". This simple story is about how two hopeless people eventually find the hope they need to live, without even intending to, just by noticing each other, by caring and paying attention to. I had a friend in high school who was so religious yet very suicidal and I could not understand why but I chose to listen to him whenever he needed someone to talk to and would try to uplift his spirits by reminding him of all the positive things about him. This book serves as a reminder that sometimes, that's all it takes - having someone to listen and care.

I, too, was suicidal more than once in my life. Consumed by my misery I would also Google ways to kill myself. I've done things thinking that would it be my last and mentally said good bye to people I thought I would never see again. I would even pray to God to just end my life. I never spoke to anybody about my wanting to die though, I only did after I had gotten past the depression. I remember that all it took to not want to die was to just decide to live.

Sometimes it's not even about receiving care but about giving it. During one of my depressive states, I remember wanting so bad to care for something so I adopted a dog. I had no love for myself but I somehow gave it all the love I could and in turn, he loved me back. It was enough for me to want to live, I can't explain it but his presence gave me the will to live.

Depression is incomprehensible but it's not impossible to overcome. It's also very deceiving, remember Robin Williams? He looked like the happiest man alive yet he hung himself.

This book wasn't spectacular or particularly impressionable but I think it still serves as a good reminder to watch out for those who need more love and to give it whenever we can. You could be saving someone's life. It also reminds us to be kinder because everybody has their own battles to fight.