Review: My Lovely Wife in the Psych Ward by Mark Lukach

Goodreads rating: 4.08/5

My rating: 4.5/5

Simply put, this book is a memoir of Mark Lukach's life with his wife, Guilia, starting from before they were married to after, during which Guilia is diagnosed with bipolar disorder. During Guilia's first psychotic break, she spends almost a month in the psych ward at which there was no clear diagnosis. After she eventually recovers and has a baby with Mark, she spirals again, and it is then that she is diagnosed with bipolar disorder. She has another mental breakdown a few years later but she and Mark are more prepared to deal with it. This story portrays the strength of Mark and Guilia's love for each other while they battle with the mental illness together.

This memoir is tragically beautiful and I don't think my review will do it justice. Lukach's writing is lucid and raw. I particularly like how he stays true to his own emotions amidst the chaos. He did not pretend to be the perfect husband by expressing the resentment he felt not just toward his wife's disorder but toward his wife too at times. At the same time, I commend his patience and understanding in the care that he provided Guilia with. Not many men will stick around to take care of a woman they know they will have difficulty taking care of for the rest of their lives, but he stuck around; Guilia is very blessed to have him and their family.

As I've mentioned before, I too have bipolar disorder so some of Guilia's experiences were very relatable. For instance, each time Guilia had a psychotic breakdown, she had delusions of God or heaven and hell. Before I spent time in the psych ward, I too had similar delusions, I thought I was Mother Mary or at least related to her somehow. I know it sounds crazy and it is, but it's something we didn't have control of. Luckily for me, unlike Guilia, I never relapsed and didn't have to depend on medication. I can empathize with Guilia's constant battle to take her medication while she doesn't want to as I consistently fought not to take mine when I had to. It's not easy ingesting something that you know can help you but at the same time have severe negative side effects. Lukach's concern regarding Guilia's medication gave me an insight into how my parents must have felt when I got out of the psych ward. My father was the one who would hold my medication, prepare them and give them to me while my mother did it whenever he wasn't around. However, my mother could see the negative impact of the medication on me so she wasn't as forceful. It never occurred to me that my father was just afraid of what would happen to me if I didn't take my medication. I always wondered what it was like for them and this memoir was able to give me some answers. Mental illness affects not just the diagnosed but everyone that cares for them.

An important lesson to be taken away from this memoir is the importance of proper sleep. Before I was hospitalized, I had not slept for days, and when I was taken to the hospital's emergency room, it took a lot of injections to successfully sedate me. The same went for Guilia, she and Lukach knew that she was about to relapse whenever she had trouble sleeping and sometimes, her medication was not enough to put her to sleep. If you want to know more about the effects of sleep deprivation, please do your research, to say that it's important would be an understatement.

This memoir highlights the horrors of having to live with a mental disorder and having to live with someone who is mentally ill. I admire Lukach and Guilia's communication and effort to maintain a healthy relationship and I love that Lukach never gave up on his wife. Lukach's account of his odyssey is real and passionate. If you don't mind your tear ducts being jerked and are looking for a great true story involving mental illness, this book is for you.